I used to know a girl named Angela (that is actually her name… I didn’t change it to protect her identity) who shared with me that her favorite animal was a unicorn. And she was serious. And we are no longer friends. In that order.
But the joke is on me. Not only do they exist, it turns out they are quite vicious…
The Avenging Unicorn Play Set
The kit includes an obviously pissed-off unicorn, 4 magical horns and 3 figures to impale.
I would love to have been a fly on the wall during that product development meeting. I image it went something like this…
Hasbro Creative Director addressing the group:
“I want this toy be a fun/kitchy way to release aggression… we can have the unicorn stab a man in a suit since everybody hates The Man, and a princess because high-maintenance women are a pain in the ass… aaaaaaaand a mime just to add a bit of fantasy. And don’t let me forget to design the unicorn’s eyes to look deranged because I don’t want to scare people into thinking that ALL unicorns are dangerous. Oh and while we’re at it, lets design their mouths open like a proper blow-up doll so that we can precondition them to want the Leprechaun Sex Doll we are coming out with next month.”
Buy it here.
Four-top table in preppy, non-Chinese, Chinese food restaurant called Dragon Well on Chestnut Street in the Marina District of San Francisco.
Cute-as-a-button little girl… three years old to be exact… coloring with a crayon on a two-page coloring book that Dragon Well provided her to keep her grubby hands out of mischief entertained. Her dad is sitting next to her with another crayon and is pretending that he doesn’t understand how to color by holding the crayon all wrong, to her amusement. Then the little girl says…
Up Yours, Daddy!
This comment was completely innocent… she wasn’t telling her father off (that will come in 13 more years) but rather instructing him to “up” the crayon in a vertical direction so the exposed end could touch the paper. Don’t kids say the damnedest things?