Thanks to a way-too-easy work email address, I get a ton of spam. Which would normally be annoying except that the subject lines are ridiculous. So ridiculous, in fact, that I sent one around to my coworkers at which point my boss kindly pointed out, “You are the only person I know that would forward sexually explicit spam to her colleagues”. ‘Nuff said… bad call… but my mistake is your good fortune because now I am just going to blog about them.
I present you with my spam subject lines, in no particular order:
- Bomb her womb from your huge cannon! – (which survey says should actually read, ‘bomb her foxhole with your huge cannon‘ but who am I to edit?!?)
- A key from her bedroom is in your pants – (what does that actually mean?)
- Explore her deep mole hole more – (really, a ‘mole hole’? wouldn’t that mean your penis has never seen the light of day? and is the word ‘more’ really necessary?)
If you have seen any that should be on this list, please let me know!
notice things 
i just discovered this because i was writing to someone to say that they had spammed me
ironically
what i meant was actually that he had sent me inappropriate messages that i did not appreciate
which he had made up himself he did not try and sell me viagra
but then i said that i had spammed him back
and i meant that i had done the email / text equivalent of smacking him down with a large tin of spam sending far too many messages with far too much detail about police and laws in the UK regarding sexual harrassment and what is or is not appropriate regarding ‘respecting women’s rights’.
he is a friend from another country and he is actually a friend and i appreciate him a lot as a friend and helpful person
but just that
anyhow
i found your picture above on google for images
and sent it to him
it also kind of implies that he is a meat head but in a jokey kind of way
but it is kind of an embarrassing subject when
someone who you respect and would like to continue to respect as an intelligent being then acts like a moron
anyhow it was better than the other picture of a woman with a toy furry whale (?)
anyway
i just wanted to say
i thought your article above was quite funny
and i wanted to reply to your question
the key to her bedroom is in your pants
sigh
don’t you get it?
her bedroom is her private ‘place’
her room is her womb..
and the key is in your pants of course
that unlocks the door..
key also connects to the italian for
chiavare
which is also the same as
intercourse
of course
life is just one giant pun
eh?
or is it bun?
(in the oven..)
you know the irony is that i went round the holy land and i realised that all this stuff about baby jesus and all this
is just a big thing about ‘teaching the facts of life’ but in a kind of round about way and that the church of the holy sepulchre is basically the place where mary and joseph shagged
yes the historical documents do actually say that they happened to be ‘engaged’ before she became pregnant…
or was it the holy spirit
or a holy condom instead with a bit of G&T thrown in?
😉